Quick Facts
- Milestone: Colton Underwood and husband Jordan C. Brown welcomed their son, Bishop Colton Brown-Underwood, on September 26, 2024.
- US Trend: As of 2024, approximately 18% of married same-sex couples in the United States are raising children under the age of 18.
- Success Rate: The live birth rate per transfer using donor eggs and a gestational carrier is approximately 57%.
- Timeline: A typical surrogacy journey spans 12 to 24 months from the initial consultation to the birth of the child.
- Legal Hotspots: States like Michigan and Massachusetts implemented significant parentage protections in 2024 and 2025, becoming key jurisdictions for 2026.
- Key Hurdle: Same-sex couples face double coordination, requiring both egg donation and a gestational carrier simultaneously.
The gay fatherhood journey often begins with addressing male infertility hurdles and navigating the surrogacy process. Initial steps typically include sperm motility testing, embryo creation through egg donation and IVF, and selecting a gestational carrier. Colton Underwood’s experience highlights the importance of medical transparency and the use of specialized fertility clinics to overcome biological challenges in same-sex family building.
From Advocacy to Fatherhood: The Colton Underwood Story
Colton Underwood’s path to parenthood has been anything but conventional. After his highly publicized time as the star of The Bachelor, his decision to come out in 2021 marked a turning point not just for his personal life, but for his role as a public advocate. His transition from a reality television icon to a vocal proponent of LGBTQ+ advocacy has provided a blueprint for many men navigating similar paths. Underwood has been open about the mental health stigma associated with both coming out and entering the world of fertility treatments, emphasizing that the emotional resilience required for this transition is just as critical as the physical logistics.
In his journey toward fatherhood with husband Jordan C. Brown, Underwood has moved beyond personal storytelling into the realm of systemic change. This includes supporting initiatives like the TEAMS Act, which aims to improve access to family-building resources. The couple’s decision to share their experience of welcoming their son, Bishop Colton Brown-Underwood, via surrogacy serves to normalize the reality that same-sex families often require extensive medical and legal intervention. By addressing these topics publicly, Underwood bridges the gap between celebrity narrative and the lived reality of many gay men who face unique barriers to biological parenthood.
Overcoming Male Infertility Hurdles in Gay Fatherhood Journey
While the conversation around fertility often focuses on the female reproductive system, male infertility and gay fatherhood are deeply intertwined. For same-sex male couples, the journey usually starts at a fertility clinic with a comprehensive analysis of sperm motility and quality. Even when there are no known health issues, testing is the fundamental first step. Understanding the biological health of the intended parents allows for more informed decisions during the in vitro fertilization process.
Colton Underwood was remarkably transparent about his own struggles with sperm motility, a topic often shrouded in silence within the community. Overcoming male infertility hurdles in gay fatherhood journey requires a shift in perspective, moving away from the assumption that the biological process is straightforward. Instead, it involves a process known as double coordination. This means that while a heterosexual couple might use their own eggs and carry the pregnancy, gay men must simultaneously coordinate with an egg donor to create embryos and a gestational carrier to carry the child.
Modern fertility clinics now offer advanced screening for egg donation and sophisticated IVF protocols that boast high success rates. However, the logistical complexity of managing two separate biological contributors—the donor and the surrogate—demands a level of medical transparency that Colton Underwood has championed. By highlighting these clinical details, intended parents can better prepare for the long road of embryo creation and the eventual transfer to a gestational carrier.
The 2026 Roadmap: Essential Legal Steps for Gay Surrogacy
Navigating the legal landscape is perhaps the most daunting aspect of surrogacy for same-sex couples. The legal steps for gay surrogacy are highly dependent on geography, as laws regarding parentage vary significantly from one state to another. In 2024 and 2025, there were massive legislative shifts in several states that have fundamentally altered the 2026 roadmap for intended parents.
One of the most essential legal steps for gay surrogacy parentage orders is securing a pre-birth order. This legal document ensures that both intended fathers are recognized as the legal parents the moment the child is born, allowing their names to be placed directly on the birth certificate. Without this, one or both parents might have to undergo a confirmatory adoption, a process that can be both emotionally taxing and legally redundant in states with progressive parentage laws.
| State | 2024-2025 Legislative Update | Impact on Intended Parents |
|---|---|---|
| Michigan | Michigan Family Protection Act (2024) | Decriminalized paid surrogacy and streamlined parentage. |
| Massachusetts | Massachusetts Parentage Act (2024) | Updated laws to grant equal rights to LGBTQ+ parents. |
| Vermont | Updated Parentage Statutes (2025) | Strengthened protections for children born via assisted reproduction. |
Beyond the pre-birth order, intended parents must ensure that their gestational carrier contract is ironclad and executed in a "surrogacy-friendly" jurisdiction. California remains a gold standard because of its established legal framework, but the recent changes in the Midwest and Northeast are offering more localized options for couples who want to stay closer to home. Working with a specialized attorney is not optional; it is a requirement to protect the rights of the parents, the surrogate, and the child.
Logistics and Budget: A Financial Planning Guide for Same Sex Surrogacy
Building a family through surrogacy is a significant financial undertaking. A comprehensive financial planning guide for same sex surrogacy expenses reveals that costs in the United States typically range from $175,000 to over $200,000. These expenses are distributed across several categories: agency fees, surrogate compensation, legal fees, and the substantial costs of in vitro fertilization and egg donation.
To manage this, many couples follow a step by step surrogacy process timeline for gay couples that spans roughly two years. The process generally breaks down into these four phases:
- Preparation (Months 1-4): Initial consultations, sperm testing, and choosing an egg donor.
- Embryo Creation (Months 5-8): Egg retrieval, fertilization, and genetic testing of embryos.
- Matching (Months 9-12): Screening and selecting a gestational carrier who aligns with the parents' values.
- Pregnancy and Birth (Months 13-24): Embryo transfer, medical monitoring, and the final legal steps for parentage.
When selecting a partner for this journey, the criteria for choosing a gay friendly surrogacy agency should include their experience with same-sex parentage orders and their network of LGBTQ-affirming medical professionals. Many intended parents also look for agencies that offer financial transparency and assistance in finding surrogacy grants or specialized financing.
Paternal Bonding: How Intended Fathers Bond During Pregnancy
A common concern for intended fathers is the emotional gap created by not physically carrying the child. However, there are numerous ways for non-gestational parents to foster a deep connection before the birth. Understanding how intended fathers can bond during surrogacy pregnancy is essential for long-term family wellness and paternal bonding.
Maintaining an intentional relationship with the gestational carrier is the most effective way to stay connected to the pregnancy. This includes attending all medical appointments—either in person or via video—and participating in milestones like ultrasounds. Many dads-to-be also use technology to their advantage, recording their voices reading stories or singing so the surrogate can play them for the baby, helping the infant recognize their voices upon arrival.
The transition from "intended parent" to "active father" also involves preparing the home environment and the couple's mental state. By the time Bishop was born, Colton and Jordan had cultivated a support system that understood the unique nuances of their path. This emotional preparation ensures that once the child arrives, the bond is already rooted in the months of anticipation and active participation in the surrogacy journey.
FAQ
How do gay men start the journey to fatherhood?
The journey typically begins with a consultation at a fertility clinic to assess the health of the intended parents' sperm. From there, couples decide between adoption or surrogacy. For those choosing surrogacy, the process involves selecting an egg donor and a surrogacy agency to begin the medical and legal coordination.
What legal steps are required for gay fatherhood?
Key legal steps include drafting a gestational carrier agreement and obtaining a parentage order, such as a pre-birth order, to ensure both fathers are listed on the birth certificate. It is also important to work with an attorney to navigate the specific laws of the state where the surrogate resides.
How much does it cost for a gay man to have a baby?
In the United States, the total cost for surrogacy generally falls between $175,000 and $200,000. This includes the cost of IVF, egg donation, surrogate compensation, and legal fees. Some men use surrogacy grants or specialized loans to help manage these expenses.
How long is the process of surrogacy for gay fathers?
The process generally takes between 12 and 24 months. This timeline includes the time needed for medical testing, matching with an egg donor and a surrogate, the duration of the pregnancy, and the finalization of legal parental rights.
How do gay dads choose an egg donor or surrogate?
Gay dads often use agencies that provide a database of screened egg donors and gestational carriers. Criteria for selection usually include shared values, medical history, and the desired level of contact during and after the pregnancy. Working with a gay-friendly agency ensures that the surrogate and donor are comfortable with same-sex family building.
